He may not look like a happy camper, but take a look at all the tubes invading his little body, the tape that's contorting his handsome face, the incisions, and tell me who would be.
Back when I first got news from Steph that she was pregnant, I spent a lot of time imagining things and wondering what the future was going to be like. None of this was ever something that crossed my mind. I think it's kind of rare for a father to spend the first night of his sons life alone with him. Life slows down at night when there's no one else but he and I and I get a lot of uninterrupted time to think. I'm not home changing his diapers or waking up at night from baby cries. I just hang out for hours and hours looking at him and watch him breathe and fidget about on occasion. I find myself saying prayers while I watch Quinn sleep all doped up on morphine, and I realize and accept that I'm just another guy saying prayers only when I'm in need. But the time spent hanging by his side, where the two of you have no where else to be and nothing better to do. I pray all I want.
I have this little camera with me and I'm taking a ton of pictures and videos. It's a little tough to talk to him, but I say things. I'm not exactly new at it since Steph insisted I addressed him directly while he was still in the womb. Now I'm just looking at his face instead of my wife's belly. He is interactive to a degree. He grips things.
And he makes plenty of faces that make me laugh. Steph and I are sort of taking shifts being with him at night. This was mom during a turnover.
Steph only ever wears makeup for what she considers special occasions. So far Quinn has got us on Channel 10 news, and an article with pictures in the Providence Journal. I think it's funny that she's always wearing my T-shirts with no makeup and winds up being interviewed on TV that way. It was more because of our situation during Thanksgiving that we got publicity.
There's a few reasons for all my sudden talkativeness and activity on this blog. I never realized how many people look at this, I'm tired but can't sleep, and Quinn has kind of turbo charged my passion for life. And since Quinn has no say in what pictures I reveal to the world, here's one for good measure. He can get me back later.
It takes a face like that to redefine every priority I have in life. I can't help but laugh in the midst of fighting back tears. To those of you who know me well, it wasn't long ago that I thought a miracle was something like the patriots winning that first superbowl or the Sox coming back against the Yanks to win the pennant. Ask me now and I'll be singin you a different tune.