I'm glad Quinn won't remember these days. Mom hates seeing him in pain without the option to cry. His face is swollen and puffy from fluid build up due to his recent operations.
Upon arriving at Boston children's hospital, it was more needles and incisions waiting for him. Steph did not want to watch him go through any more of his torment, and wouldn't look at him. I told her it was OK, and that I'd watch him. The first thing the doctors wanted to do was insert a line into one of the arteries in his wrist. In providence, this was attempted a few times unsuccessfully. It looks very tricky to try and get a needle point into a tiny newborns artery. Quinn had a scowl. The doctor would spend a few minutes putting the needle into his wrist and move it around to get it into the artery. Each time he retracted and reinserted the needle, Quinn's face would contort and turn red, his hands and feet would clench, but he couldn't make a sound.
After spending about 15-20 minutes on one wrist, the doctor moved to his other wrist for another 15 minutes of the same routine with no success. Watching this was a little more heart wrenching than I imagined. After only a few attempts with the needle, and watching Quinn just have to swallow the pain, my knees got weak and I felt about ready to wet my pants. Talk about being no help to anyone. Steph asked why I watched, and I told her. He's my son, I can't ignore his pain, and I don't want to miss any moment of him impressing me. The doctors never could get the needle into the intended spot, so all the pain and squirming became just another part of his ordeal. Tough break Quinn. The doctors then asked me to step out of the room. They do this anytime they are going to make incisions. Another tube into his groin area, and a replacement of the existing tubes. They do not plan on operating on his heart tomorrow. A separate surgeon took a look at his esophagus and intestinal repairs. He told us the repairs look good and he's still coming along fine. They will run a leak check in a few days to test how well they've healed. They will put a dye in his digestive system and monitoring the flow.
People have been complementing Steph and I on how strong we are being and how well we are handling the situation. I would say one reason is that no one has seen me come apart yet, but that's no accident. That's what bathroom stalls and dark parking lots are for. If you've ever been the parent of a new infant who hasn't gone through an experience like Quinn's, I just can't recommend it. If you gotta take em to Boston, make it a trip to the aquarium or something. Besides, I know things could be a lot worse. I am much more impressed with Steph, who still has yet to hold him. Between her and Quinn showing me so much resiliency, I have two huge blessings right there. Then all the friends and family. Thank you guys. I know I would like the updates if this were happening to someone I cared for, that's why I'm doing this. I will continue to keep you guys up as often as I can. One more day closer to getting Quinn past all this.
Hey Joe. What movie. ~ "He won't cry...So I cry for him." I've been wanting to use that line on Steph but she's not cooperating.