Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Waiting, and more waiting

Quinn has been off of narcotics for three days now. I can tell just by watching him. He spends most of his days crying from hunger and pain. It's one of the reasons I've been slow to update this. It's been more difficult to get pictures of him happy and peaceful and find time to type. I'm not comfortable sitting on a computer typing away while he cries, even though standing there watching him seldom seems to make a difference.


Only a few days ago I mentioned that I won't complain about anything. And I would refuse to use this web site for such a thing. Anger has served purpose for me at times in life, but this would not be one of them. So simply to keep things factual, these past three days are the first time throughout his hospitalization that Quinn hasn't impressed the doctors with his progress.
The movement in his digestive system is still too slow to handle milk. The repaired area of his intestine is still swollen, so he's been living off the IV's. His hunger seems endless and a pacifier wetted in sugar water is all we can offer. He is also still very reliant on the pace maker, and the doctor told me yesterday that at this point a permanent one is probable. To install the pacemaker will be another surgical procedure. If his intestinal area doesn't start to heal soon, it will require another operation as well. And to top things off, I just spilled a container of my wifes breast milk all over my jeans. We are still in a waiting period for everything that is healing, and the doctors are letting me know daily of their concerns.

Before he was born I remember wanting to ensure my son learned to self sooth, but at three weeks old he has yet to have someone be able to pick him up when he cries. Holding him is a cautious process of wire management and slow repositioning that sends Quinn into more screams. I remember wanting to teach him that part of life is about playing the hand you're dealt and making the best of it, which will always be true. But for me, the past three weeks have undeniably begged a ton of questions. Selfish ones. I've had to decide now that keeping my head high has never been so important. And I watch my wife do the same. So I continue to thank all of you for your well wishes and prayers. Pray for my son and for my family, but I wouldn't waste time feeling sorry for us. The good times ahead will now be that much better, and there's no replacing the appreciation for life we gain from this.


I'll mention that I have a father who has been step for step in tune with what makes me tick throughout this whole situation. Without me having to offer a hint. And he's as new at this as I am.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Steph and Dan,
What wonderful people you all are.
Love,
Jane

Pop said...

Son, Steph, and Quinn,

I always start to write and then the tears come. I am proud of you as parents. You are holding your heads high and I pray Quinn will come to know just how amazing you two have been through this most trying ordeal. Our pain is emotional...Quinn's is physical. I pray for the day to see a smile on his handsome face. I have always told folks, "Life is not fair, deal with it". But Lord, if you could ease up on this one, it would be most appreciated by all. I think Quinn deserves a break as well as do Steph and Dan.
To those of you who read this, I know how much it means to Dan and Steph that you continue to support them. Quinn is having a few setbacks; heartbreaking for all to see; but he remains strong and his parents have proven to be amazingly strong through these weeks. Many have shown their love and admiration for Dan and Steph and hopefully their ordeal will have positive results for the MIGHTY QUINN as well as positive impacts on those that know them.

Love the three of you much, much, much.

Pop

Anonymous said...

Dear Dan and Steph,
Guys I just wanted to let you know The prayers we say for Quinn are constant! They are not just prayers so he gets better but prayers for complete healing. It is not just myself that is praying and offering masses for your precious baby It Is everyone I know. And everyone they know. Your beautiful little guy has a whole bunch of people praying for him and when we go to bed at night there are people on the other side of the world just waking up to take over where we left off so Quinn has 24 hours 7 days a week of all kinds of people praying for a complete healing. I can't even begin to tell you how many people are pulling for The Mighty Quinn.I know that things are extremely hard for you guys right now but take comfort In the fact that we are lifting you up in prayer. Is Quinn getting more Beautiful everyday or What! peace and a multitude of blessings continue to pour out on you guys. Brett and Maria Rosado

Anonymous said...

Dear Steph & Dan,
Your son is absolutely gorgeous. We continue to include Quinn in our daily prayers to those that we know are listening.
Noah, Jennifer & Dave Wells

GoQuinnGo said...

Hang in there Dan. I know a hundred nintendo controlers to bust into a million pieces wouldn't help anything, but it sure would feel good.

Aunt Nik said...

Dan and Steph, I wish so much I could be there with you and baby Quinn. Everytime I see his pictures, I just cry! He is so little! and looks so vulnerable! I am just overwhelmed at how much he's gone thru! Mighty Quinn? The name fits! I am so proud of the two of you; you've been exceptional thru it all! I pray that God will continue to keep you in his loving care.
Love you much, Aunt Nik

Anonymous said...

I continue to pray for Quinn everyday and think of him often. He is a fighter and very strong from what I read and hear from Karra. I also know that this family is tough and can make it through it. Steph and Dan you are not alone in this battle and Quinn is so lucky to have you both in his corner.

GO QUINN GO!!!!!

Love
Erin

Robin Shaw said...

Hi Dan & Steph: Oh, I wish I was with you and could DO something! Joe's right, I'm not into being a passive spectator in situations like this! Ugh!

Dan, give Steph a really big hug and tell her it's from me, okay? This watching and waiting must be grueling for both of you.

Are you absolutely sure there's nothing that I can do or make happen that would at least make this a little bit easier?????

I'm there for you guys--my legs may not be 100% but the rest of me is! Could you use clothes, food, goodies, shampoo, anything???

My number is (860) 464-9190 so call me if you can think of ANYTHING, ok?

We love you guys and are praying fervantly as is our whole church. He is hearing our prayers!

Give Quinn a little kiss on his cheek from Auntie Robin, okay?

Anonymous said...

Wow, you and your wife are amazing. We are growing from this experience through you.

-A friend in Raleigh

Aunt Justine said...

Hi Dan & Stephanie,
My church, my school and everyone else inbetween continues to pray for all of you. You all are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. Every day people want to know how Quinn is doing and how the two of you are doing. Big hugs, love and kisses for all of you
Aunt Justine